you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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