dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
