areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
