My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
