Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize