no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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