$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize