you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
