my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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