are you so shy because you have an std?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
