...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
