I will die if light touches me.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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