Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
