is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
