i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
