I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
