Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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