Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
