Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
