i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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