I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she looked like the before picture.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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