If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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