You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
