i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
