I must be too annoying 4 u.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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