hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
