I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
