he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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