I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
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Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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