i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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