My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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