Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
