i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize