So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
one two three fourrrrnication!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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