I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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