oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
