I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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