One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
