I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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