my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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