as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The Olympian is in my bed
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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