frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.