If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online