hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
