I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
