I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
