It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
