just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
