Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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