ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
