Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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