a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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