Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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