somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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