the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
