the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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