Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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