Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
