Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
