I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
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I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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