i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
