I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
