guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
