so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
