i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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